Here is the beginning of my 12-minute play, Georgie Gets a Facelift. It appears in my anthology The Twisted Mind of Daniel Guyton (Poetry and Plays in the Dark Comedy Vein). If you would like to produce this piece, please contact me for the performance rights. All producers are required to include the author's name on any programs or advertising in which the title of the play appears. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the show!! :O) -Daniel Guyton George Gets a Facelift A 12-Minute Play by Daniel Guyton ©2002
Author holds all copyrights. For performance or production info, please contact: click here to email. ------------------------- GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT Characters: GEORGIE GIRL SCOUT MOMMA (Romantic music sets the mood before the play begins. Before the lights come down, however, the music shifts abruptly to a slow and darker piece. When the main lights in the house come down, the volume rises slowly, but at a steady pace, until the sound is almost deafening. An air-raid siren blares. Then, suddenly, with a WHOOSH, the lights flash on as bright as day and the sounds all stop abruptly. We see GEORGIE, center stage, seated in a wooden chair, a pistol deep within his mouth. The room is spare, like a small apartment, and the colors are dyspeptic. The chair is the only furniture in the place. We see a kitchen area and a living room, without too much adornment. There is a wooden floor, and a doorway in the back. There is a window with some blinds. GEORGIE is a young man, about 24 or so. He wrestles with his conscience, as tears stream down his face. Just as he seems ready for the deed, the phone on the counter rings. Pause. He removes the gun from his mouth and crosses to the phone)
looks at the gun. He whimpers. He stands and walks around. He sits. He puts the gun in his mouth. The phone rings. He jerks the gun out and crosses to the phone) I'm… Look, I’m really busy right now, ok? I gotta go.
and sits. He puts the gun back in his mouth. The phone rings. He removes the gun and crosses to the phone. He beats the living crap out of it.)
rings. He removes the gun.)
SCOUT is on the other side.)
to the chair. He sits. He jumps up instantly)
watching. He quickly slams it shut and locks it. He crosses to the girl. He kneels down next to her and puts his fingers on her neck. There is no pulse.) cookies!
feel like you’re going somewhere in this world, it just… it just turns around and bites you in the ass! Trust me, when you get older, you'll s… Well, you know what I mean. So, don’t go looking at me funny like I did… Like I did something wrong! Ok? Because I did you a favor! You think I’m a… You think… You know what? I don’t care what you think! Because I am sick and tired of all the accusations and the… and the lies. And then feeling like I… I DID NOTHING WRONG!
just… (He leans in close to her) Let me tell you a lesson about life! Ok? Life is not… What do you do? You sell Girl Scout cookies? Ok, let me tell you something. What do you gotta sell? Like 300 of them? Ok. Let’s just say you gotta sell, like, 300 Thin Mints, ok? Like you got, ok, you got, like, 300 boxes of Thin Mints, right? Ok, you got 300 boxes of Thin Mints because those are the cookies that everybody loves, right? Ok, so here you are, you’re sellin ‘em. “Whoop de doo! Buy my Thin Mints!” Right? So, what happens? You sell 300 Thin Mints and what do you get? A medal? A fuckin patch on your shawl that says “Look at me, I sold three-hundred boxes of THIN MINTS?!?” Is that what it’s for? A fucking PATCH?!?
add a little color, a little… flavor to your brown and green. But… I mean… you just don’t understand. You just don’t understand that for every patch you receive in life, there will be some mother fucker ready to stab you in the back and steal your patch away from you!!! You just don’t understand this. (He starts to cry.) And I’m teaching you a lesson. There will be some mother… You just don’t understand. You’re just a little girl.
TOO. It was called a Bachelor’s Degree. I thought, “I could own the world.” Spent six years in college and I thought, “Man, I finally got it right.” Spent six years in c… I finally got it right. I thought, “Now I can get a job. Now I can do something with my life.” You think I’m a monster. You think I’m a monster cause I shot you, don’t you? You think I’m a… Well, I’m not a monster. I only did it cause I care. I only did it cause I…
the gun and cries.) took my job away! What else could I do? I spent six years in college and they took my job away! What else could I do? They stabbed me in the back and took my job away. Just one mistake and they never let it die. Just… one mistake. And they never let it die. I just want my patch. Please contact DAN to read the rest... |
Georgie Gets A Facelift
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Riant Theatre's Strawberry One-Act Festival - Manhattan, NY; Feb. 2005