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Here is the beginning of my 10-minute play, Spat! Please note that this play has been
published, and is protected under full copyright laws by Original Works Publishing and the
United States government. It is unlawful to copy or reproduce this script without the
permission and consent of Daniel Guyton or Original Works Publishing. The performance
rights to this play are also controlled by OWP, and royalty arrangements and licenses must
be secured well in advance of presentation. If you are interested in producing this play,
please contact Original Works Publishing via www.originalworksonline.com, or at 4912
Tujunga Ave. Suite #4 North Hollywood, CA 91601, or Daniel Guyton at www.danguyton.com
for the performance rights. Please give the number of performances intended, dates of
production, your seating capacity and admission fee. Due authorship credit must be given
on all programs, printing and advertising for the play. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the
show!
SPAT! (Motel Scenes: Part I)
A 10-Minute Play by Daniel Guyton ©2001
--------------------------------------------
MARK: I hate you.
WANDA: I hate you more.
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: You’re a worthless cock hole!
MARK: I can’t believe you fucked the waiter.
WANDA: I told you, I…
WANDA (Cont'd): I didn’t know he was a waiter.
MARK: I don’t care if he’s a waiter or not! I just can’t believe you fucked him!
WANDA: Oh, don’t worry. He wasn’t very good.
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: You already said that.
MARK: Yeah well…
MARK (Cont'd): I meant it.
WANDA: You’re an asshole.
MARK: Oh yeah? Well, at least I didn’t fuck the waiter!
WANDA: I don't think he's your type.
MARK: I hate you.
WANDA: You hate everyone.
MARK: I hate you more.
WANDA: More than the waiter?
MARK: Well, no. I…
MARK (Cont'd): I hate him more.
WANDA: Why?
MARK: What?
WANDA: I mean, seriously, why do you even care? You never pay attention to
me anyway.
MARK: I’ve been busy!
WANDA: So have I.
MARK: Yeah, you’ve been busy, all right. Busy with the waiter.
WANDA: I hate you.
MARK: Oh, don’t turn this around on me! I hate you a hell of a lot more than
you could ever hate me!
MARK (Cont'd): You wanna know how much I hate you?
WANDA: How much?
MARK: More than words can say.
WANDA: More than words can say?
MARK: Even more than that! I hate you so much that if you weren’t my wife,
I'd… I’d punch you!
WANDA: Go ahead! I’m easy! An easy target. Hit me! It’s nothing worse than
the shit you’ve been saying lately anyway!
MARK: Like what?
WANDA: Like, you know, um, how about, “You’re gettin pretty big for that outfit,
ya know. Why don’t you start joggin?” And, “Sorry I missed the anniversary. It
was a big board meeting. What’s for dinner?” And, “I don’t know why I ever
married you in the first place, you big fat ass!”
MARK: I never said that!
WANDA: Yeah, but you meant it! I could see it in your eyes! The last time we
made love! The last time we showered together! I could see your look. Of
absolute disgust. I know you hate me. You despise me! You never say anything
nice about my body!
MARK: Well, look at it. I mean, you…
WANDA: Urgh! And you wonder why I slept with Paco!
WANDA (Cont'd): It’s because he treats me nice. He always buys me things! He
may not speak English very well, but he knows how to treat a woman!
MARK: His name is Paco?
WANDA: Yes, Paco!
MARK: That rhymes with taco. How could you sleep with a man whose name
rhymes with taco?
WANDA: You are so heartless!
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: Will you stop saying that!?!
MARK: If the shoe fits…
WANDA: The shoe does NOT fit! I am not a slut! I am a woman with needs!
MARK: You’re a woman with mental problems. AND you’re a slut.
WANDA: Oooogh!!! I hate you!
MARK: I hate that you’re a slut.
WANDA: I hate that you even live.
MARK: You slap me again and I’ll…
WANDA: You’ll what? You’ll fix your car? You’ll drive around for three hours?
You’ll call your mom and cry like a baby cuz you can’t keep your “bitch” in line?
Huh? What’s the matter? Mama’s not here to make you pasta fagioule?
MARK: I hate you.
WANDA: You’re an imbecile.
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: WILL YOU STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT?!?
MARK: You’re a whore?
MARK: That was fun. We should do that again sometime.
WANDA: I hate you.
END OF SAMPLE. To read the other three scenes, please contact Dan Guyton.
published, and is protected under full copyright laws by Original Works Publishing and the
United States government. It is unlawful to copy or reproduce this script without the
permission and consent of Daniel Guyton or Original Works Publishing. The performance
rights to this play are also controlled by OWP, and royalty arrangements and licenses must
be secured well in advance of presentation. If you are interested in producing this play,
please contact Original Works Publishing via www.originalworksonline.com, or at 4912
Tujunga Ave. Suite #4 North Hollywood, CA 91601, or Daniel Guyton at www.danguyton.com
for the performance rights. Please give the number of performances intended, dates of
production, your seating capacity and admission fee. Due authorship credit must be given
on all programs, printing and advertising for the play. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the
show!
SPAT! (Motel Scenes: Part I)
A 10-Minute Play by Daniel Guyton ©2001
--------------------------------------------
- SCENE 1
MARK and WANDA in a motel room. They are dressed elegantly, but
disheveled, as if caught in a fight before they could go to dinner. The
bed she’s sitting on is rumpled, and the pillows are on the floor. He is
standing, facing away from her. His hands are clenched in fists.
MARK: I hate you.
- Pause.
WANDA: I hate you more.
- He turns to her.
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: You’re a worthless cock hole!
- MARK fights back a tear. He turns away.
MARK: I can’t believe you fucked the waiter.
WANDA: I told you, I…
- Small pause.
WANDA (Cont'd): I didn’t know he was a waiter.
- He faces her.
MARK: I don’t care if he’s a waiter or not! I just can’t believe you fucked him!
WANDA: Oh, don’t worry. He wasn’t very good.
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: You already said that.
MARK: Yeah well…
- Thinking of a comeback.
MARK (Cont'd): I meant it.
WANDA: You’re an asshole.
MARK: Oh yeah? Well, at least I didn’t fuck the waiter!
WANDA: I don't think he's your type.
- Pause.
MARK: I hate you.
WANDA: You hate everyone.
MARK: I hate you more.
WANDA: More than the waiter?
MARK: Well, no. I…
- Beat.
MARK (Cont'd): I hate him more.
WANDA: Why?
MARK: What?
WANDA: I mean, seriously, why do you even care? You never pay attention to
me anyway.
MARK: I’ve been busy!
WANDA: So have I.
MARK: Yeah, you’ve been busy, all right. Busy with the waiter.
WANDA: I hate you.
MARK: Oh, don’t turn this around on me! I hate you a hell of a lot more than
you could ever hate me!
- Pause.
MARK (Cont'd): You wanna know how much I hate you?
WANDA: How much?
MARK: More than words can say.
- Pause.
WANDA: More than words can say?
MARK: Even more than that! I hate you so much that if you weren’t my wife,
I'd… I’d punch you!
WANDA: Go ahead! I’m easy! An easy target. Hit me! It’s nothing worse than
the shit you’ve been saying lately anyway!
MARK: Like what?
WANDA: Like, you know, um, how about, “You’re gettin pretty big for that outfit,
ya know. Why don’t you start joggin?” And, “Sorry I missed the anniversary. It
was a big board meeting. What’s for dinner?” And, “I don’t know why I ever
married you in the first place, you big fat ass!”
- She throws herself into the bed and starts to cry.
MARK: I never said that!
WANDA: Yeah, but you meant it! I could see it in your eyes! The last time we
made love! The last time we showered together! I could see your look. Of
absolute disgust. I know you hate me. You despise me! You never say anything
nice about my body!
MARK: Well, look at it. I mean, you…
WANDA: Urgh! And you wonder why I slept with Paco!
- MARK stares at her.
WANDA (Cont'd): It’s because he treats me nice. He always buys me things! He
may not speak English very well, but he knows how to treat a woman!
MARK: His name is Paco?
WANDA: Yes, Paco!
MARK: That rhymes with taco. How could you sleep with a man whose name
rhymes with taco?
WANDA: You are so heartless!
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: Will you stop saying that!?!
MARK: If the shoe fits…
WANDA: The shoe does NOT fit! I am not a slut! I am a woman with needs!
MARK: You’re a woman with mental problems. AND you’re a slut.
- She storms around, fuming.
WANDA: Oooogh!!! I hate you!
MARK: I hate that you’re a slut.
- She slaps him hard across the face.
WANDA: I hate that you even live.
MARK: You slap me again and I’ll…
WANDA: You’ll what? You’ll fix your car? You’ll drive around for three hours?
You’ll call your mom and cry like a baby cuz you can’t keep your “bitch” in line?
Huh? What’s the matter? Mama’s not here to make you pasta fagioule?
MARK: I hate you.
WANDA: You’re an imbecile.
MARK: You’re a slut.
WANDA: WILL YOU STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT?!?
- He shrugs.
MARK: You’re a whore?
- She shrieks and runs at him wildly. They wrestle. He casts her aside like
a rag doll. She hits the bed and bounces to the floor. He starts to
chuckle.
MARK: That was fun. We should do that again sometime.
- She sits up from behind the bed. Her hair is wild and demonic.
WANDA: I hate you.
- Lights out. End of scene 1.
END OF SAMPLE. To read the other three scenes, please contact Dan Guyton.
Spat!
(Motel Scenes: Part I)
